


The Trials and Tribulations of Gender Neutral Parenting

by KingHippiedude (missreader)



Series: The Avengers Are Actually a Parents-of-Trans-Kids Support Group [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Parent-Child Relationship, Trans, Trans Character, Transgender, transgender character, transvengers, transvengers assemble
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:19:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5597770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missreader/pseuds/KingHippiedude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce Banner runs a blog about raising his kids gender neutrally. One of them comes out as trans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trials and Tribulations of Gender Neutral Parenting

**Author's Note:**

> This is still a little rough and incomplete, but I'm trying to get everything I wrote for the Transvengers Initiative posted before the end of the year.

Bruce’s profession was in scientific research, and while he was well-known and acclaimed within the scientific community, he was better known outside it for his role as an activist. When his oldest child was born, he made a pact with himself to do everything he could to raise the child gender-neutrally. Sometimes it was a struggle. There’s no good gender neutral pronoun in English; products are marketed clearly as ‘for boys’ and ‘for girls’; and Bruce couldn’t do anything to control the behavior of other people with regards to his child.

Phoenix loved wearing princess dresses and sparkly things as a child, but also loved to climb trees, roll in the dirt, and challenge other children to lightsaber duels. And Bruce felt like he and his wife Betty were doing the right thing raising Phoenix as they were. Bruce started an online diary of their experiences to share them with curious people. Some of the stories were happy or neutral, others about struggles trying to remain gender-neutral, and many about the reactions other people had to their family.

Things got even more complicated when Phoenix started school. Teachers insisted on gendering Phoenix, and they tried to enforce gendered stereotypes. The other students were occasionally hurtful, but usually they were simply parroting things they had heard the teachers or their parents say. Often, the children in Phoenix’s kindergarten class complimented Phoenix’s clothes and joined Phoenix in imaginary battles. That didn’t mean that the hurtful comments didn’t hurt or that things were always great, but they weren’t all bad either. Phoenix had a pretty happy childhood.

Bruce became accustomed to receiving hate mail in his email inbox over the years. But he kept the address and kept it listed on his blog for the times that he received emails of thanks or requests for advice. The grateful emails always made his day, and he was more than happy to help other parents. When Phoenix was about eight, Bruce received one of those emails asking for parenting advice. The man was a single father with a young child who insisted that she was in fact a he. The anonymous man was out of his depth and had no idea what to do. Bruce replied to his email with what advice he could offer, mostly “don’t force your child to be someone they’re not”. And it was the beginning of a lasting relationship. He and the mystery man continued to email back and forth, sharing stories and advice.

Eventually the man told Bruce that his name was Tony. And Bruce thought nothing of it really until he saw a magazine with a picture of Tony Stark and his child on the cover and the headline “WHY IS TONY TURNING CAITLIN INTO A BOY?” _Could the man I’ve been emailing with regularly for nearly a year really be the famous billionaire?_ Bruce thought.

Tony’s next email seemed to confirm the thought.

> _Bruce,_  
>  _Have you seen the news recently?_  
>  _-Tony_

What else could Tony be referring to that would cause him to email Bruce?

***

Phoenix had never seemed to adhere to stereotypical gender roles, favoring an eclectic wardrobe and a similarly eclectic set of hobbies. So Bruce wasn’t particularly surprised when one day he found a printout about pronouns laying on top of his laptop, accompanied by a sticky note that read:

> _Could you use these pronouns for me? -Phoenix_

with an arrow pointing to the xe/xem/xyr section.

Phoenix had always been the quieter of their two children, though xe had also always known who xe was. Phoenix had always been confident in expressing xemself and had never cared what others thought. Xe was creative and passionate and loved poetry. Xe had been shy as a child and still preferred communicating through writing. So Bruce was not at all surprised about xyr method of asking him to switch pronouns. He was glad that Phoenix was comfortable enough with him to ask about this at all.

***

The day after Bruce had found the paper talking about pronouns, he found another printout on top of his laptop. This one was about genderfluidity as an identity. There was no note with this one, the intent was pretty clear. This was Phoenix’s way of coming out.

Bruce read through the printed article twice and searched the term ‘genderfluid’ online, trying to learn as much as possible. But there was only so much information to be found, and most of it was extremely subjective and personal. So he gave up quickly and figured he could get answers when he talked to Phoenix about it.

After dinner that night, Greyson sped off to his room, but Bruce stopped Phoenix before xe could follow xyr younger brother.

“So,” Bruce asked, “you’re genderfluid?”

“Uh, yeah,” Phoenix replied. “I guess it’s not a perfect label, but it’s the most accurate. I don’t feel like I can pin down a gender identity, and sometimes I like pretty feminine things, but sometimes I like masculine things. Most of the time, I end up with some combination of the two. And I don’t know if it’s just my gender expression that’s changing or if my identity is fluid too, but genderfluid is the best word to describe it. So, yeah…” xe trailed off.

“Thank you for telling me. Do you mind if I blog about it?”

“Uh. No. I guess not. I mean, it’s not exactly a secret that I’ve never really acted or dressed like boy, and I came out to a lot of my friends already. And it’s not like most of the people who read your blog will ever see me in real life anyways.”

“Okay. I won’t write anything immediately, but I’ll at least post something about genderfluidity soon.” He paused then added, “I love you, Phoenix.”

“Love you too, Dad,” Phoenix said before giving him a brief hug and stealing away to xyr room.


End file.
